Accidentally, and
without any kind of deep concentration, or obsessed observation I had a
feeling that there is no "first step" in real life, and it is a mere
empty lie to tell someone as to "encouraging him" that he \ she just has
to take the first step and the path will be easier, smoother, clearer
as he \ she continues.
Well, now this might look strange for a while before it gets normal
again, but I don't think things are arranged in this
particular distinctive way of which people used to consider their
reality upon. To sum up, there is always a process during which changes
happen, achievements and thus pleasures come along and accrue.
Therefore, every moment we experience, every tiny action or thought that
flashes in our lives, or every breath we simply take is a starting
point or a "first step" to what follows, regardless of good and evil,
right and wrong, or even achieved or not... etc.
To use the phrase "first step" means to admit that we are living in an
assumed world, where things are truly built in certain way, where all
our expectations are true and matching reality. And that we need nothing
but to set our goals, adjust a time or a moment to start, and launch
the attack when it is due. Isn't that what we actually, and so called
"normally" do? Well then, what happens if try to go further? can it be
the most complicated and time-wasting thing we have ever known! Is there
any other simpler way to doing it?
Our consideration of an organized world where everything goes according
to our plans, and every abstract we might face is to be solved at the
earliest to keep up with our wanted goals, in addition to the
whole frequency our minds seem to operate on can be easily proven wrong
in anytime we stop these engines for a while and give ourselves time and
enough attention to express its inner voice. Because, above all the
journey we have led and crossed, and after all the mind experiences we
have gone through, reality has another odd story to tell. For, it
doesn't always act accordingly, and it always appears to have another
hidden achievements and it seems to define those abstracts differently.
We are in front of something we have always denied, we are in front of
different human being with different reactions and different results
each and every time. We are in front of different (us) every time!
We give meanings to things, we
allow them to exist, and we surrender to our dreams nightmares and give up living.
It is always about us here and now, nothing more at all.
Say we work our minds to figure out a method to solve a critical - psychological - problem, we study everything we could ever find about such an issue, we read thousands of books, we listen to millions of lectures, and we put all our academic background and life experiences automatically turned on to help us throughout the process. When we begin to dirty our hands with the case, starting to observe the very problem that we deal with, and the very person we examine, everything we studied suddenly becomes not of an important value, and our background seems to be helpless or not accurate in our current work, it stops presenting itself as a concrete knowledge and crosses the border of tenses to expand into the present moment. In this point you cannot separate between past and present, nor you can tell where was the starting point at all.
Say we work our minds to figure out a method to solve a critical - psychological - problem, we study everything we could ever find about such an issue, we read thousands of books, we listen to millions of lectures, and we put all our academic background and life experiences automatically turned on to help us throughout the process. When we begin to dirty our hands with the case, starting to observe the very problem that we deal with, and the very person we examine, everything we studied suddenly becomes not of an important value, and our background seems to be helpless or not accurate in our current work, it stops presenting itself as a concrete knowledge and crosses the border of tenses to expand into the present moment. In this point you cannot separate between past and present, nor you can tell where was the starting point at all.
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